I grew up in an environment whereby Ayah (which means dad in Malay) held 2 jobs to raise the 4 of us. Mum has always been a housewife since the day I was born. Financially, our family had to survive on whatever earnings Ayah brought back. No luxury of getting things we wished for. Whatever amount of money that he took home were spent on our daily supplies, items which were deemed necessary.
I remembered how envious I was when friends had birthday parties, took a plane when they went for their holidays, had new toys, new clothing and every other things that a kid could ask for. Till this very day, I could clearly recall what I said to Ayah when I wanted a new toy. We were waiting for the bus to come, and I had told Ayah about a new toy that my friend has, which I would really love to have too. He looked at me and said that he doesn't have enough to get one for me. Being young and naive, I pointed to the ATM machine across the road and told him to go there. To me, that was a magic machine, because each time Ayah needs cash, all he needs to do was to insert a card, press a few buttons, and VOILA, money pops out! I just couldn't understand when Ayah explains that his card has got no more money. Ehmmm... It just doesn't make sense at all! I was upset and disappointed, and wondered why life is unfair to me... At that instance, I wished time would just pass faster, so that I can start earning my own money.
Years passed, I graduated and got my first job. Receiving my very first paycheck was such an excitement! In my heart, I was saying "Finally, I got the chance to spend!" But the feeling soon faded once I saw pretty stuffs that I like - things which are really nice to have, BUT NOT something which I really needed! I couldn't describe what it was, but I just couldn't bear spending my hard-earned money just like that.
And that's when I realised what my parents had given all this while. They taught me something priceless. It was the value of money. All the sad moments when I compared myself against everyone else has become lessons to me. I learnt to weigh the importance of having the things I wanted against the things which I really needed. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy shopping. I do, in fact, I LOVE retail therapy!!! But I am somehow very cautious about it. Each time I picked something up, I tend to think, once, twice and even thrice before I actually paid for it. I truly appreciate what my parents has inculcated in me, although I must admit that I only realised it when I was 20.
Now, it's my turn to pass it on to my children. Frankly speaking, I am really having a hard time. They are going through exactly what I have experienced. At first, it was just the comparison about who has more cool toys and now, they are beginning to compare what friends can do and they can't, just because I said "No! Cannot!"
Not buying newer toys doesn't mean that they have no toys at all.
Not sending them to enrichment classes doesn't mean that they will not turn out smart.
Not allowing them to have an endless access to outdoor play or electronic games doesn't mean that they don't have any play time at all.
Not giving in to them doesn't mean that we don't listen or care.
We love our kids and of course, we want to give them the best of everything... And the best gift a kid could have is to be equipped with the right values.
